“Some Days I Just Wanted to Disappear”

Kai always felt different—but not in a way they could explain.
In middle school, they kept their head down, stuck to routine, and tried not to stand out. But by the time high school rolled around, something inside started pushing forward.

It wasn’t loud at first. Just small things.
They hated being called “she.”
They didn’t relate when friends talked about crushes.
They didn’t feel at home in their own body.
They started questioning everything—from who they were to whether they’d ever be accepted for it.

“I didn’t even have the words,” Kai told me, when they finally came out as non-binary and queer. “All I knew was that I felt broken. Or wrong. Or invisible.”

Kai’s story isn’t unique. It’s one of so many we hear—teens exploring their LGBTQ+ identity while carrying a weight the world can’t always see.

And that weight? It’s heavy.

Why mental health struggles hit harder for LGBTQ+ teens

Being a teenager is already complicated. Add the layers of questioning your gender or sexuality, fearing rejection, and navigating a world that doesn’t always feel safe—and you’ve got a recipe for deep emotional stress.

LGBTQ+ teens are significantly more likely to experience:

• Anxiety and depression
• Self-harm or suicidal thoughts
• Social isolation
• Bullying (in person and online)
• Family rejection or pressure to “be normal”

The pain doesn’t always come from identity itself—it often comes from how people react to it. The fear of being misunderstood. The silence in classrooms. The jokes passed off as “just kidding.” The sideways glances. The lack of representation.

Kai used to carry all that in silence. “I’d walk through school like a ghost,” they said. “Even when I was surrounded by people.”

Finding small moments of light

Kai’s turning point came in a quiet moment—during an English class discussion about identity in literature. Their teacher paused and asked, “Has anyone here ever felt like they had to hide a part of themselves to feel safe?”

That question cracked something open.
Kai didn’t raise their hand, but they felt seen.
Later that week, they emailed the teacher. Then they joined the school’s GSA.
Then, piece by piece, they started to speak.

“It wasn’t a light switch,” Kai says now. “It was more like a dimmer. Slowly, the room got brighter.”

They started going by “they/them” pronouns. They cut their hair. They posted a poem about finding their voice. Not everyone responded kindly—but they were no longer invisible. They were becoming real.

How LGBTQ+ teens can protect their mental health

Whether you’re out, questioning, or still figuring it out, your identity is valid. You are not alone in this.

Here are a few things that helped Kai—and might help you too:

• Find at least one affirming person. Whether it’s a teacher, a friend, an older cousin, or someone online, connection changes everything.
• Take breaks from harmful spaces. If online comments or certain environments drain you, it’s okay to set boundaries.
• Use your voice, even quietly. Journal, write poetry, create art—let your truth have space, even if you’re not ready to share it yet.
• Seek out LGBTQ+ resources. Books, podcasts, support groups, and apps can remind you you’re not the only one walking this path.
• Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Therapists, school counselors, or LGBTQ+ helplines exist for you.

If no one else says it today: You matter.

You deserve to feel whole. You deserve joy, not just survival.
There is no timeline for becoming who you are—and no “right way” to live that truth.

Kai still has hard days. They still get misgendered. They still sometimes wonder if they’re strong enough for this journey.

But now, they also have pride.
They have a chosen family.
They have peace.

And that started with one decision: to stop shrinking.

Are you addicted? Are you under stress? Need to talk to someone? Text “HELLO” to 741741 or visit Crisis Text Line. Trained crisis counselors are available 24/7 to help you with your stress.